Uh....Oh Spaghetti-O's

Well friends....it has been awhile.  I keep coming over here...trying to write....and nothing.  Not that there hasn't been plenty to write about.  Ryan is still Ryan....and well I am still sassy.... I don't see that changing any time soon ;)  I was talking on the phone the other day to Betsy.  Brice was so sweet to leave her a list of things to do while he was out of town....wasn't that just so kind of him?!  LOL!  Anyway, I was whining about how I didn't have anything to write about....all the while she was cleaning out her refrigerator.  Note to the men in our life:  We do get things done while on the phone....she got that entire fridge clean during our conversation....just please do NOT ask how long the talking lasted.  Thank you for your cooperation.  Ahem, anyway....she was putting some unidentified food substances down her garbage disposal while we were talking and said....Hey why don't you write that one about spaghetti that you never blogged about?  So....like the good listener that I am....again please note this fellas....I am about to do just that.  Here is one from the Lucy Lunacy vault....geez probably from a good year ago.  Hope you enjoy...and have a good laugh on me :)

One night after having dinner....I was in the kitchen merrily cleaning up the mess.  Okay, so that may be an exaggeration.  I was cleaning up the mess. Anyway, there was some left over...cooked spaghetti from our meal....and just as I had done a million times before (just please do not tell him that) I threw the spaghetti in the sink....and swished it down the garbage disposal.  Apparently Ryan never knew that I did this....for years....like 12 years of married life.  And I never heard all of this rubbish about putting pasta and rice in your disposal being bad??  Wtheck?  I mean if it were that big of a deal....surely to goodness I  would have heard about it...right?  Sigh.  Anyway....the next day....the sink kinda clogged.  And my dear sweet husband was home....and he was able to stick his hand in the nastiness and found....of all things.....spaghetti noodles clogging the way.  So of course....I got this big long dumb very insightful lecture about the dangers of pasta to your disposal.  Yep.  Got it.  Check.  Never doing that again.....

 Two weeks later..... (we can only hope I am a faster learner these days).....Ryan is working late....and I feed my hungry little mob their favorite pasta....and am left with a smallish bowl of leftover cooked noodles.  In my mind....I vividly recall thinking about that very wise lecture my husband gave me....and then just like that....I dumped the bowl of noodles down the disposal.  Yes. I. Did.  Why?  I wish I knew.  Part of me thought that I knew better than he did (yes really).....and part of me is just dumb enough to want to see what would happen....would they clog the disposal....or not.  Yeah buddy....stupid.  So I turn on the water and swish the little noodles into oblivion....or so I think.  I feel victorious.....I was RIGHT!  No clogs....take that Mr. Smartypants....pffft!  And then about five minutes later....to my horror....water starts being held on that side of the sink.  Nothing will go down.....and my beloved walks in the door.

So yes, I am panicking by this point....not sure how I am going to explain this mess.  So I did the most logical thing......I lied my butt off.  Yes. I. Did.  Ryan looked at me point blank and asked if I had put pasta down the disposal.  You all should know....I suck at lying.  I may have had a chance over the phone, but if he is looking at me....I am toast.  Knowing that....I still chose to lie.  I told him I had noooo idea what the issue could be. And continued to tell that story.  At some point I do talk to both Betsy and Wilma that night....completely in panic at what I had done.....how stupid I had been....all that good stuff.  I mean honestly, if you are going to go down....choose something a little more exciting than pasta down a drain.  Live and learn I suppose. I am not sure what Betsy and Wilma said that fateful night...as I said it has been about a year ago....we were at the beginning parts of our friendship...and why that little stunt of mine didn't give them a clue....I will never know....but I am glad they have stuck around for my more exciting antics ;)

To the best of my recollection the night ended with a silent car trip to Wal-Mart....with Ryan glancing over at me every now and then...with what we all know as "the look".  He knew I was lying....and he was like a lion on the prowl.....juuuust waiting to sense that moment of weakness.  I have no idea why I thought I was going to get away with it. But....I just kept insisting I had NO idea what was clogging our little disposal. A few dollars later....handy dandy tool in hand....he heads in the house and under the sink.  So you have to picture this....he is literally under the sink....legs hanging out....and I am standing nervously at his feet...praying to whatever saint is in charge of plumbing....or wayward wives....or spanking husbands....whoever I thought could help me.  He takes that fabulous little tool he bought....cranks it a few times to get the disposal loose......and spaghetti bits come flopping out inches from his very angry looking face.  Yes. They. Did.  Go ahead and gasp....get it out....I did.

Later that night....after our children were fast asleep....one very sorry Lucy was ushered into the closet to have a meeting with a wooden spoon (this was back in the GOOD old days....before our paddle "Fluffy" came to live in the closet).  Since that day....I can honestly say I have NOT put any cooked pasta, rice, chicken skin, vegetable peelings, celery, limes, lemons, apple cores....or any other foreign object down the disposal.  I am nothing if not a good listener!  Right Ryan?!  Right??