An HOH.....even in his sleep!

Well, after all of my serious posts.....I figured I needed to lighten things up around here.  The title of this post is true...Ryan has started talking in his sleep.....and I DO NOT like what I am hearing.

One night a few months ago, before the rule about no TV/Laptop in bed was established he had his first episode.  It went something like this:

I was trying to unplug the now banned laptop from the outlet that was between our headboard and the wall.  While doing this I inadvertently bumped a sleeping Ryan in the head with my elbow....oops!  He then leans up and gives me that look and says:

What do you think you are doing little girl? 

Um, well I was trying to unplug the laptop.  Sorry about your head.

I am going to tell you something right now, if you get out of this bed one more time I am going to blister your behind.

I was like what the WHAT?  He had never called me little girl before and never used the term blister and behind in the same sentence.  After this exchange he started snoring.....which to me was a good indication that he was indeed talking in his sleep.  Being the smart person that I am (insert sarcasm here), I decided to ask him about it the next day...

Uh, Ryan.....Do you remember talking to me about the laptop last night?

No, why....what did I say?

So I kinda laughed the whole thing off while I replayed the exchange to him.  He just listened and said Hmmmm....and walked away.  That should have been my first clue.  Shortly after, he stopped letting me stay up late watching TV in bed.  I am now forced fall to asleep in my husband's arms.....the big meanie!

A few days later he asked if he had talked anymore in his sleep.  I cannot lie to save my soul, so I was forced to tell him about incident #2....

I have a list of things that I need to accomplish each day.  Actually, we both have goals for each week....I am just held accountable for mine...grrrr.  On this particular night he had fallen asleep before me, and I was silently reveling in the fact that I did not have a list the next day.....he had forgotten...or so I thought....he started patting my bottom gently and then....

Babe, I know you do not have anything on your agenda tomorrow....but something had better get accomplished....Do we understand each other?

I am looking at him like he had lost his mind....and his patting became more insistent so I quickly blurted out that I understood....and again the man goes back to snoring!

So....what do you all think this means?  I think subconsciously he is getting more and more confident in his role....which makes me and my butt a little nervous.  Especially since every now and again he asks me about his sleep talking.......

Next time he wakes up and begins talking....I am going to begin to snore loudly....or maybe dump water on his head.....or maybe I need to start feeding him propaganda in his sleep....stuff like:  Lucy deserves a day off.....Lucy needs a new wardrobe.....Burn all of the wooden spoons......

I'll let you know how it works out for me ........