On our way to better......

Well, things around here are getting back to normal.  After our major fallout....we stayed apart for the better part of a day.  Partially due to his work schedule, and partially due to the fact that we had no idea how to deal with how wrong things had went.  I credit so many of you for taking the time to comment on my last post, and email me with suggestions.   I needed all of the help I could get.  I was so off...so angry....and I had no idea how to get back.

So....what have we learned in all of this?  We learned that we both got very complacent....too comfortable....and we took ttwd for granted.  Ryan and I talked about how the blessing/curse of ttwd is that you must communicate.....sometimes talk things to death....and talk about things that you really do not want to talk about.  We failed to do that.  In my last post I put a lot of the blame squarely on his shoulders....and now with a clearer head I can see how unfair that was.  This type of relationship does not come with instructions....and I do not come with an owner's manual....and as I pointed out on Wilma's blog....I am glad I do not....I have a feeling my manual would say, "For best results, spank her silly every other day."  But I digress....

What I am trying to say is that I need to be better about helping him with what I am feeling and thinking.  He is not a mind reader, nor is he a private detective.  He simply cannot follow me around all day and take notes and decide how to deal with me based on what he has observed.  I need to be better about going to him and saying that I am struggling...that I have done something that is not going to make him happy....that I have not been honest.  It dawned on me in the midst of all of this that in doing that.....I am not taking over control....or trying to tell him how to do his "job".  What I am doing is respectfully giving him the facts, and then submitting to however he decides to proceed from there.  And yes really, it took me 8 months to have that epiphany...I am a little slow ;)

Our immediate remedy for what happened it to get back to what made ttwd work so well for us.  The schedule remains, although he has asked that I put more of my ideas into what needs to be done each week. He has also asked for my help in reminding him on Sundays that we need to make the schedule.  Once a week we will be scheduling our blog reading....either he or I will pick a blog that speaks to us, and we will share it with the other and discuss it.  I can also expect for maintenance to continue on Sunday or Monday at his discretion, and that he may very well throw in more sessions whenever he sees fit (yay me).  

So, there you have it....things are getting better around here.  We are towards the end of his horrid schedule for the week.....and then maybe we will find our way totally back.  We had a (kinda) cute moment the morning after the blow up.  He discovered he was out of jeans (oops) and informed me that some had better get done that day or in his words, "sore hiney will be making a comeback."  I feigned complete shock and said, "So what, you're still going to be spanking me?  I thought we were making changes around here?"  I think he turned around so quickly that he about broke his neck.  His response, "Lucy, do you honestly think you could behave without being spanked?"  "Of course I could (shut up Wilma).....we could give it a try."  He just shook his head and kissed me....and gave me a firm swat on the way out the door.  I love that man.